Withdrawal
by Life-is-AmazingXD
Summary: Alessandra is the daughter of two Jedi. Living in post Order 66 time, she has no access to Jedi training so, off to discover who she is she falls in the with wrong crowd, getting addicted to the galaxies most lethal drugs: death sticks.
1. Beginning

***Warning: there is extensive teen drug use and drinking along with an attempt at rape. If any of this stuff bothers you, please don't read.***

_Note: Alessandra and her friends and mother are all mine. Whereas the world and Force is sadly not._

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><p><strong>Withdrawl<strong>

The music pounded around me, vibrating my very core. Words spilled from my mouth but I couldn't comprehend what I was saying. Their laughter reached my ears as if coming through a funnel. It was hilarious!

I was hallucinating on death sticks. It was as s simple as that. I didn't feel the Force anymore. I hadn't for a long time. It was strange not to feel its presence. The empty feeling had to be what it was like to be a normal teen.

"Hey, Aless. Wanna come buy more death sticks with me?" Klar asked. I smiled at him sweetly.

"Of course!" I rolled off my plush pillow. Everyone laughed.

"Oh Aless! You're so silly when you're high!" Ellona bleated, her blasting laugh could be heard clearly over the music. I lay on the floor, cracking up. Klar offered me his hand, helping me to my feet. I stumbled into him and we both laughed hysterically. The death stick serum made me high; the drink I mixed it with made me drunk. All in all I was pretty much incapacitated. I was kind of surprised that I was even alive. Guess there were some perks to being Force sensitive.

Cat calls sounded behind us.

"Get it!" Drox called. Something told me that this should have bothered me. But it didn't. By now I was used to it. Klar winked over his shoulder before leading me to the bar where we could get a hit. We weaved in and out of the tables, shoving pass the couples dancing. Their hot bodies pressed against us.

"Hey Klar! Wanna dance after?" I shouted over the pulsating music.

"You know it babe!"

I melted inside. _Ellona is right_, I thought. _He did like me!_

I bought another drink then dumped my last red death stick in it, mixing it with the blue liquor, turning it purple. "Purple is my favorite color!" I told Klar. He laughed.

"Oh Aless. This is part of the reason why I love you so much. You're just so free and silly," He said, putting his arm around me, crushing me to him. My whole being tingled with the closeness of his body. It was kind of a nice feeling. He led me back through the crowd, drink in hand. I really didn't need another one. My senses were still completely disoriented. Everything was blurred. The harsh music beat in time with my racing heart. It was really hot.

"Let's dance!" I shouted, stopping Klar. I put my hands in the air, drink up. Klar crushed his body against my back, is groin swaying against my backside. His hands snaked up and down my body, teasing the hem of my short dress. Courtesy of Ellona. I glanced around and what I saw made me stop.

Standing by a table, where two female Chiss dressed in next to nothing clothing were injecting death sticks into the crease of their elbows, was my mother, dressed in Jedi garb. A sad expression on her face.

I shook my head. There was no way.

When I looked back she was gone. Of course she was gone! She was dead!

Longing and guilt nagged at my core. I quickly pushed them away with the help of my drink.

"What is it?" Klar asked; his voice in my ear.

"Oh, nothing!" I slurred; a note of hysteria in my voice.

"Come on, let's get out of here!" I let Klar lead me back toward the table. Only it wasn't the table, it was a room. With a bed. I flopped onto the bed, the springs squeaking.

"Oh!" I said, looking at the drink in my hand. I had totally forgotten I had it. I chuckled. I was so stupid sometimes. I downed it, leaning back until I fell back on the bed, making sure that I got every drop before letting the cup fall to the ground. The alcohol made my head buzz but the death stick serum made me feel weightless. I wondered vaguely what I was going to hallucinate this time. I couldn't feel or comprehend a thing. I'm surprised I could even remember who I was or where I was or even what I was. When I looked at the ceiling I saw the galaxy with all its solar systems or where they lunar systems? Whatever they were I wanted to see them all, or at least some of them.

My weightlessness became dragged down by something pressing down on me. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Klars tanned face appeared where the galaxy was a moment before. His green eyes were glazed and shining with the effects of the death sticks. His face pressed against mine. What was he doing? Warning signals pushed through my dulled senses.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled, turning my face from his for air. His breath smelled terrible. He liked to smoke his death sticks.

"Don't worry about it," Klar said in a tone I wasn't used to. I didn't like it. I wanted it to go away!

"Get off me," I said weakly, pushing his bare arms. I could have sworn he'd been wearing long sleeves earlier.

"I'm not on top of you." That didn't make sense…

I was vaguely aware of my dress being peeled off my skin. His cold hands gripped my breast. But it wasn't until his hands slid from my breast did my head clear.

I was acutely aware of everything then. My clothes were gone and so where Klars. I could feel the coarse, dirty sheets of the bed under my back.

"Klar! What are you doing? Get. Off. Me!" I yelled. My already racing heart began to beat even faster. But this wasn't because of adrenaline but fear.

"Hold still. I'll be quick. It'll be over soon. I promise I'll be gentle." But a wicked look on his face said otherwise.

"No!" I began to struggle, trying to push him off. All I could think was that I was a Jedi, this should have been easy. But I couldn't sense the Force. "Stop! Don't!"

But he didn't seem to hear me. He began trying to subdue me, going so far as to punch me in the face. I began to yell for help. But there was no way that anyone could hear me with the blasting music outside the room.

_Stop and take a deep breath, Alessandra. Focus. Use the Force!_ A voice told me. I did what it suggested.

"I said get off me!" I screamed, pushing my hand forward. The Force obeyed, sending Klar flying back. He hit the wall with a thud before collapsing in a heap on the floor.

I sat for a moment, breathing fast catching my bearings. It was amazing how clear my head was now. It was in then that I realized what had transpired. Klar had tried to rape me. I began to tremble uncontrollably as I stared transfixed at the still figure of the guy that I thought was going to be my first boyfriend.

I didn't understand.

I snatched my dress off the floor, yanking it back on. In a single bound I crossed the room and exited, leaving my attacker behind. I was done with this nightmare! As I pushed my way through the crowd, effects of the death sticks began to cloud my mind. Everything began to fall out of focus. I clutched to one thought: get my bag and get out. Somehow I managed to actually make it back to the table this time. I grabbed my bag from under it. Ellona was passed out on the table. Drox was talking to a bunch of people I didn't know.

"Back so soon, Aless?" he asked an, evil, knowing smile on his face. His eyes appraised my disheveled look. I bit my lip to stop it from trembling; a watery glare was all I could muster before I took off out of the club.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the story! There will be more to come! I do plan on writing the back story... one day... haha! Stay tuned for more!<strong>


	2. A Want for Death

***Warning: Curse words!***

_Note: Alessandra and her friends and mother are all mine. Whereas the world and Force is sadly not._

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><p><strong>Withdrawal<strong>

The rain fell like needles on my skin, waking me up even more as I fought to keep the effects of the death sticks out of my head. But the serum was too strong and all I could do was stumble and slosh my way back to the abandoned Jedi Temple. I didn't even remember going through the gate. But I do remember thinking I wasn't going to make it up the many flights of stairs and through the door. But the next thing I know I was collapsing on the cold marble floor of the main entry hall.

The freezing rain had drenched my skimpy dress. I shook violently as if I were in the middle of an earthquake but sinking into glacial water and that water was filling up my lungs, cutting off all air. My head began to pound in time with my racing heart. To make it even worse, my stomach lurched. Weakly I rolled over, barely holding myself up as I dry heaved and coughed until all those drinks made themselves known again. And even when there wasn't anything else my body continued to try to make sure all the toxicants were expelled from my body. Finally, completely drained, I flopped back to the floor, nearly missing the pool of vomit. I don't know how long I laid there and honestly I didn't care. I curled into a ball, trying to keep my body from rattling apart and begged for death to come swiftly.

Then it happened. The most excruciating craving consumed my senses. My body began screaming at me, pleading for a death stick. My body was no longer in my control but at the mercy of my addiction. I jerked apart, sprawling across the icy floor. I watched as my hand stretched out into the air, searching for what I wanted. I literally screamed for it, my cry echoing around the hall, clashing with the pealing thunder outside. I shot up and snatched my bag. Violently I raked through it, looking for any sign of its sweet nectar. I dumped out its contents. My head swam so badly I could hardly focus on the items that littered the floor. There was a single empty vile. I snatched it and with a shaking hand tipped it back, hoping that a drop would slip out. But there was nothing. Frustrated, I threw the only hope of getting away from this pain across the room.

"Dammit!" I yelled after it. "I need a hit!"

But there wasn't anyone to hear me. I was all alone. I brought my knees up to my chest and began rocking back and forth, whispering, over and over again, "I need a hit."

"Fuck!" I screamed as my body convulsed, sending me to the floor again. "I need a hit! Give me a hit, dammit!" My heart beat loudly in my ears, freezing chills wracked my body.

"Alessandra, darling," An ethereal voice whispered. Reluctantly, I looked up. A ghostly blue-hued figure of my mother knelt beside me, her hand outstretched towards me, as if she were going to caress my head.

"Mom. Mom. I need –I need a death stick. I need one," I whimpered.

"No. you don't need it, honey." Her voice was soft and caring.

"Yes I do!" I yelled. "I _need_ one! I'm gonna die!"

"You're not going to die, sweetheart. You're going to be fine."

"NO! I'M NOT! I want to DIE!"

My mother's ghost sighed, her faced pained. "Oh honey. Don't talk like that. I promise you're going to be just fine. Why have you turned away from everything that your father and I have taught you?"

"Don't _lecture_ me Mom! Don't _even_ start! You're dead! I can do whatever I want now! You left me! So just _go_!"

Hurt colored her face. She pulled away. "You're going to be fine at the end of this, sweetheart. Stronger than ever. And I've always been with you."

"I don't care Mom! I just want a death stick!" I yelled. "And you're a liar! Just _leave_!"

But she was gone and I was alone again. The only sound was the distant roll of thunder, the pounding of rain on the roof and maybe even a leak somewhere.

I gritted my teeth against the bone shattering shakes and the cold. Moans of pain because all I knew the sound of. The want for a death stick bombarded my mind. Eventually, in this state I think I fell into a fitful sleep.


	3. Hell

_Note: Alessandra and her friends and mother are all mine. Whereas the world and Force is sadly not._

Please read and review! I'd really like to know what you think of the story!

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><p><strong>Withdrawal<strong>

It was really hot. Really, really hot.

_I guess I should go inside before I burned to death in the Tatooine sun's_, I thought. I rolled, expecting to touch sand, but instead something wet and slimy coated my finger tips. It didn't feel like sand.

My eyes flickered open; a dull gray light covered the vast hall. I wasn't on Tatoonie. I moaned and rolled back over, shutting my eyes. It kind of shocked me when a feeling of longing crashed over me. I couldn't believe how much I missed my home planet, even though I truly hated it.

My mouth was extremely dry like the sands that covered my home planet. My tongue felt swollen as it stroked my mouth, searching for moister. Fever chills ran the length of my body, causing my sweaty body to ache.

It was so hot! I couldn't stand it!

Weakly, I sat up, the whole earth swam. When it settled itself, I peeled off my dress before collapsing back to the floor.

I gasped.

Once again I felt like I couldn't breathe. I wondered if I really was going to die. I felt like I was going to burn from the inside out. I'd heard that people couldn't live through death stick withdrawal. Not without medical assistance. Even though I kept my eyes shut, I couldn't fall back to sleep. Thankfully though, my body wasn't calling for a death stick.


	4. Headache

_Note: Alessandra is my Jedi._

Please read and review!

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><p><strong>Withdrawal<strong>

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up again, it was the sun that woke me. It sent my head pounding harder than it ever had. It didn't make me hot. I was no longer hot. But I wasn't cold either. I curled into a ball, using my arm to cover my eyes, keeping out the light and keeping my head from slitting in two. I whimpered at the all consuming pain of the migraine. I knew what would make it go away, or at least dull the pain: a death stick. The want for one came back, but it wasn't nearly as strong as it had been.

When was this going to be better? When was I going to die?

Despite the pounding in my head, I was all too aware of the silence that was pressing in on me. There was a dull ache in my stomach, but I was too incapacitated to do anything about it. I realized without any real enthusiasm that this was the first time that I was really aware of anything and everything around me besides the want of a drug.

I laid there for a long time, suspended between dreamland and reality. My sense of time was completely disoriented. In this in between state, my mind began to turn, thoughts that had been suppressed by the serum made it impossible to go back to sleep. Memories of my father flooded back to me. A pang of longing squeezed my heart. I missed him. I wondered if he was alright back home all by himself. Did he miss me? It'd been almost a year since I'd left him. Time flew when you're high on death sticks. Through my pounding head I wondered how I ended up here, in this state. How did I let this happen? How? How and why? I knew better! I knew the dangers of death sticks. Yet, I still did them, getting myself addicted when I told myself I wouldn't. I guess being a Force-sensitive teen was worse than being just a regular teen. I guess I thought I was even more invincible than others. After all, I had powers that others didn't. I could keep the serum from eating away my life-force. And when most would need medical assistance to come clean, I didn't. I survived the withdrawal.

At least I think I did…


	5. Nightmare

_Hello anyone who's read this story! Thank you for reading! I'd really love some feedback. _

**Note: Alessandra is my character. **

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><p><strong>Withdrawal<strong>

A disturbance in the Force woke me. I jumped up, snatching my lightsaber from my side. But when I looked about the hall, no one was there. I looked around; searching for what I knew was there.

"Come out!" I said. "I know you're there." Slowly I crept toward the dark. I knew it was hiding in there. When I stood right at the edge of the darkness, my resolve faded. I peered into the black, suddenly terrified.

"Hello?" I whispered. A grey hand reached out and before I could step back, its scaly fingernails were digging into my chest trough my clothes and pulling me in. I screamed as the darkness engulfed me. I held my lightsaber up, clutching it as it was the only light in the dark.

_That's right. Cling to your weapon. Cling to it! Cling to it like you never have before!_ A raspy voice hissed. It echoed around in darkness, repeating itself in a round.

"SHOW YOURSELF!" I yelled, whirling to find the source of the voice. "Who are you?"

_You_, it whispered in my ear, clear as the sun.

I jumped out of my skin, spinning and slashing with my weapon. It struck nothing. Then something made my stop. I felt the Force around me, telling me what I needed to know. I Force-pushed a spot in the darkness. Something let out a demonic scream and the darkness cleared. Lying on the floor of the hall was the most repulsing thing I had ever seen.

Thin gray skin covered its bony body. It looked as if it had never eaten. A mess of light brown matted hair stood in a mane around its face, covering it. It breathed heavily as it pushed itself up on a brittle arm. A purple cloth was all it wore, barely covered its chest and hindquarters. The fabric looked almost like the dress I'd worn to the club.

I inched toward the creature, lightsaber raised in defense. It had a familiar feeling. It was as if I knew this horrifying monster. When I was only a foot away from it, the monsters face jerked toward me. I gasped, dropping my lightsaber as I stared not into a monsters face, but my face!

My distorted face.

Nasty pointed yellow teeth protruded from my red lipped mouth. Blazing bloodshot eyes scurried manically about. My nose flared.

_You wanna buy some death sticks?__!_ It screamed, jumping at me, crawling up my body. I tried to back away, pushing it off me like a jumping animal but it had me. It shoved one of its discussing hands in my face, death stick viles spilling from its grasp.

"No!"

I summoned my lightsaber back to me and in one swoop cut off the monsters head. The headless torso sunk to the ground, the head rolling away. The death sticks littered the floor, spilling from the body like blood.

The temptation was great. It would have been wonderful to take one of those viles and plunge it into my skin, let the serum of the death stick take me far from here. Far from this nightmare. But I took a deep breath, lightsaber in hand; I turned away from it all and walked into the warm embrace of the Force.


	6. Phoenix

_This is the last chapter for this story! I hope you enjoyed it. I know I enjoyed writing it. Alessandra is one of my favorite characters to write. More of her adventures soon!_

**Note: Alessandra is my character whereas the world she lives in is not. That, my friends, belongs to George Lucus. **

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><p><strong>Withdrawal<strong>

My eyes snapped open. Light shown down on me from a hole in the ceiling. I sat up; then I looked down at my hands. It was strange; it was as if I were looking at them for the first time. My mind was extremely clear. I, for the first time in a long time, could sense the Force, pulsating around me. It was a pleasant feeling, almost like I was welcoming back an old friend.

I smiled. My face had a hard time moving. I touched my cheek. Dried vomit plastered it, making it stiff.

I chuckled at the absurdity of it. I stood up. The world didn't spin and my legs held me steady. I felt strong.

And free.

I took a deep breath of the stale air. But I'd never felt more alive. I crossed the vast hall, my feet making a soft _pat_ sound on the smooth floor, leaving my dress where it belonged: on the floor with my past. I walked up the stairs and right to the Jedi housing quarters where I had come my first day on Coruscant.

I used the Force to open one of the doors. The bed was unmade, the blinds still closed, clothes littered the floor. It was as if the Jedi would be coming back with the promise to maybe clean it later. But the fine layer of dust told of a promise broken.

A fresh –well fresh then –folded towel rested on the desk, a washcloth on top of it. I rummaged through the drawers. By the looks of it I'd struck gold. This room belonged to a girl. And not only that but a girl my size. I grabbed an outfit and the towel and went into the bathroom. I used the Force to make water stream out of the faucet. And not cold water, but hot water.

I stood under the running water for a moment, letting it run over my body, removing the layers of sweat and vomit and anything else on my skin.

I closed my eyes, really feeling the water. I sighed. This was the beginning of a new me. A new time in my life. My time on Coruscant had come to an end. Now I just had to get some money to get off this planet.


End file.
